A Letter to Widji Thukul

This post was first published in Indonesian on January 30th, 2019, click here! 

Widji … 

You have made a huge impact! Your words will never ever be forgotten. Your spirit will live on in the lives of many Indonesians that want change.

Two weeks ago, on that night, my friends and I had the opportunity to read out your poems and watch your movie, ‘’Istirahatlah Kata-Kata’’ (Solo, Solitude) based on you and your sojourn where it indeed did not depict any violence.  Nevertheless, the words you expressed in your poems moved me to tears.

When the movie was nearly finished, although, tears were running down my face, I refused to go to the bathroom because immediately my friends and I were about to read out your poems to many people after the movie ended. That’s why I didn’t want to wipe the mascara on my eyelashes. I would probably look like a black-eyed ghost if I wipe my eyes. I’m indeed foolish at times.

Finally, we went to front and prepared ourselves to read your poems. When my friend read the word, ‘’lawan’’ (fight) at the end of your poem, ‘’Peringatan’’ (Warning), I nearly wailed and could not hold back my tears. I’m proud of my friends from Germany and America that also read out your poems. And some of them have Indonesian blood.  I hope you are also proud of us reading your poems you hold dear to your heart. Your poems we read out include:  Peringatan (Warning), Sajak Bapak Tua (Old Father’s Tale), Buat L.CH dan A. B (For L.CH and A.B), Lumut (Moss) and Puisi Menolak Patuh (Poem of Rejecting Obedience). When my lecturer asked me which poem I wanted to read, my eyes stared directly at one of those poems. My lecturer looked happy because that poem was indeed the one fitting best for me.  

I was the last one to read out a poem.  I read ‘’Puisi Menolak Patuh’’. I thought I was not going to read it out with emotion. However, after your film, this poem was very touching to me. I thought I was not able to read it out. I was close to tears when I read out the second line. However, at the end, I successfully read it and everyone was moved. 

I was indeed emotional. I care about the fate of Indonesia. The battles you faced is beyond comparison. I’m only able to spread nothing but the untold truth on what is happening to Indonesia.  I will not cease my efforts to spread everything out in the open through my words. So that they won’t be brainwashed by any more doctrines. I want to teach them to not just simply accept things they’ve been taught but to be bold and speak out.

Your film, ‘’Istirahatlah Kata-Kata’’ made me know more about your huge struggle for Indonesians to have a better life. I really do feel that your film indeed shows the reality of Indonesia.  For a while, I connected the dots with what I saw and experienced. The tears were streaming down my face as my heart was in countless pieces. Seeing fellow citizen experiencing oppression, having their rights being trampled on and even murdered.

Your film indeed is related to ‘’Laut Bercerita’’ (The Sea Speaks His Name) (novel by Leila Chudori). And this made the tears flow even more. As everything is interconnected with what was happening and what activitists came up against, including you, Widji.  The real truth is present, just that it cannot be publicised. One day, I hope to write a letter when Indonesia is not the current Indonesia I know. As well, that everyone’s rights are not impeded.

You know that the Indonesian government does not let 100% of their citizens grasp and learn their own history. In 2011, I only realised that what I learnt was all a fib, especially on the events that happened in 1965 (Indonesian Massacre of 1965) and 1998 (Indonesian Riots of 1998). I’m very grateful that I attained that knowledge when I interviewed the victims face-to-face during a study tour to the Netherlands. It was an interesting sojourn that changed the path of life and made me decide to undertake Southeast Asian Studies in Germany. This makes me determined to give back to Indonesia by conveying nothing but the untold truth.

Why is it difficult to uphold the untold truth? Isn’t Indonesia a democratic nation? Is the government unwilling to acknowledge you as one of the figures of Indonesian history? Or still fearful to expose the actual events that unfolded back then? Perhaps these are naive questions because we ourselves are forced to remain 100% tight lipped on the untold truth or Human Rights in Indonesia.

source: http://e-pao.net/epSubPageExtractor.asp?src=education.Human_Rights_Legal.Communication_as_Human_Rights

You have immensely changed Indonesia. Your did it for us. We are greatly indebted to you with what you have accomplished for us. Your influence is what we will hold dear our hearts. I uphold my promise to read your poems or write a letter to you on your birthday, although I won't receive a reply from you. Nonetheless, I know in my heart, you will hear it. Your supporters will not be silenced.

Once there was a person like you, Munir, who was brave enough to say the truth. Unfortunately, he was murdered. He also cared so much about the problem of Human Rights, especially on the issue of activists being kidnapped.  Ah… I cannot stop to talk when I reestablish a new theme. 

But remember… our struggle does not end here, we still have a long way to go, we need to stand up for Indonesia. I only wished you were here to rally with us. 

I’m very grateful to be given an opportunity to get to know you even more. Indonesia needs someone like you. You are more than a hero. You are indeed worthy to be called that! Other activists who also fight for democracy are murdered.   

See you in another letter…

Film "Istirahatlah Kata-Kata" (Solo, Solitude)  shown in the Universitas Hamburg 

*Widji Thukul was a poet and activist of human right, was born in 1963 in Indonesia. He disapperaed in 1998. He often critized the Indonesian government (New Order ) and the social condition at the time.

New Order era 1966/67-1998